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KJ's Alt.imate Guide to your 20s.

Whaaat is this? Is probably what you're thinking. I've learned a few things and my brain is swimming with this stuff, so I've decided to organize it. Mostly for my human, selfish self, but then I thought heck put 'er out there, could help someone else.

I imagine this guide to be ongoing so to start...

Questions To Ask Yourself:

A. What is my greatest fear in life?

I find looking at the negative or your fears in this instance will tell you what propels you forward. My greatest fear came to me in college and then I was told it by a great influencer and my business professor, Bill Shuster. My greatest fear is becoming 'like' everyone else. I know how that sounds, but let me explain. I fear settling for what advertising has told us we should do with our lives. I.e. Husband, kids, house, 9-5 job, weekends off, paid vacation, Disney trips - the 'American Dream.' I don't wish to do those things in the traditional sense. I want to adventure, put myself in uncomfortable situations, challenge the status quo, make an impact.

B. Are you holding onto things from your childhood? Resentment, anger, frustration?

It doesn't matter who necessarily, but it's like having some extra pounds you could stand to lose. Forgiveness is pretty amazing. The quote that really got me was, 'Forgiveness is not for the other person, forgiveness is for yourself.' Why hold onto a grudge that just holds YOU back from losing those extra pounds? You're only causing yourself more strife than I'm sure it's worth because heck we're all just human and I'm sure you've made many mistakes too.

My parents got a divorce when I was 7 years-old and I wasn't even aware of how resentful and frustrated I was at them until my 20s. I was frustrated at not having the 'perfect' childhood that I thought I had before age 7. The divorce burst the 'bubble' of my 7 year-old self that life wasn't perfect. I learned to forgive from the quote mentioned above and also with the plain ol' fact of I wouldn't be the same person if that wouldn't have happened. There are many things I wouldn't have gotten to do, people I would not have met, places gone to. I'm proud of how I turned out, so I'm happy they decided not to be together.

C. Are you okay spending time by yourself?

No, I don't mean with the TV on OR glued to your phone OR talking to someone on the phone. Forget the devices and alcohol. Can you deal with being by yourself? I've heard many a 20 something females say, 'Nah, I don't need a man, I'm just focusing on me.' And I think I do this cool thing with a low kick and a fist goes into to the air and a 'heck yea!' I'm a promoter of independence. I'm not saying you have to be single, but I do think everyone needs to know how to be okay by themselves. We all ultimately only have to live with ourselves, we might as well make ourselves interesting.

D. What do I really need to survive?

I would die without my phone! Nah, no you wouldn't. You'd be inconvenienced sure, but many adults got along just fine without all the 'stuff.' For me depending on the location, I need a backpack with some toiletries, a change of clothes, comfortable shoes, glasses or contacts, enough money to eat, a safe place to sleep, and a shower every other day. So anything above that is a BONUS! Looking around my room with that perspective in mind makes me realize how lucky I am, even though I'm not sure where my next check is going to be coming from. It's important to know what you need to survive safely, know what you need to survive comfortably, and know what is BONUS!

...More to come.

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