Strength in Vulnerability
You're right. I'm going to start a blog with an oxymoron. A little background on where this oxymoron has come from below.
Pursuing a full-time performance career has been something I've always wanted to do. It's a part of me that given any free-time, I turn to doing a performance activity. Just to clarify, I define performance with the performance arts I love to do such as dance, movement, parkour, acting, singing, playing music, writing, and anywhere I've gotten lost.
Needless to say, this move means more to me than any decision I've made thus far in life. This fact alone exemplifies the vulnerability I've experienced. Letting my world know this is what I want to do with my life was simultaneously my realization this is what I want in life. I want to perform. That's the long way to say, it's out there for everyone to see and what if I fail.
Since I practice parkour, failing is something I experience often or otherwise known as falling. I'm usually okay at falling, I don't hurt myself too bad, so that means I'm usually okay at failing, right? Right. I'm scared at failing and falling, but that's what it's like to be a human. My day-to-day is a struggle. I second guess all of my decisions and question my next moves with insane detail.
All the above collectively created the most freedom I've experienced in my life. The freedom to be myself and not hide behind titles that are less questionable, jobs that are more secure, and behavior that societally seems more normal. Letting the world know who I want to be, declaring my vulnerability, has reestablished my strength in who I am.
If you need advice or may be you just happen to still be reading, here it is: Be you, do the things that make you happy, and if you're not happy, try something different that might make you happy. Until you try, until you do, you may not know what, where, or who you can be in this world.